The fallen are the virtuous among us - ou, a teoria dos bens internos de MacIntyre

You've already been and we've already seen
That the fallen are the virtuous among us
Walk among us
Never judge us to be blessed

As linhas acima vem de "The Fallen", da banda escocesa Franz Ferdinand. Há quase um ano, iniciei um rascunho de título muito parecido, onde elaborava: "Not the winners and the glorified, but rather those who've tasted the bitterness of falling, are the ones who carry our times' most true virtues. Or is it?". Neste meio tempo, li "After Virtue", de Alasdair MacIntyre, onde o autor elabora sobre o discurso moral e faz uma análise bastante interessante sobre o papel das virtudes.

Nas últimas semanas, esboçava - mentalmente, devo dizer, travando diálogos comigo a caminho do Instituto - outro rascunho para o blog, onde queria discorrer sobre a competência técnica enquanto mecanismo de validação. Recordei que já havia abordado um assunto semelhante em outro post, e no comentário da Monica a teoria de Csikszentmihalyi me remeteu àquela de MacIntyre, que me levou, por sua vez, ao rascunho com a música de "Fallen". But I digress.

Queria descrever a busca pela competência - na Física, no ciclismo, ou em qualquer outra prática que eu exerça - como sendo um componente fundamental para me sentir pleno. Importante distinguir aqui que não trata-se de uma busca frugal por resultados - que MacIntyre chama de "bens externos", que nas práticas citadas acima seriam talvez publicações em revistas de renome, ou vitórias em corridas prestigiosas - mas sim a busca pela excelência na atividade em si: desenvolver a capacidade de articular um formalismo abstrato, ou exercer a melhor performance possível sobre a bicicleta - os chamados bens internos.

Aqui cabe, então, revisitar o que escrevia há um ano. Talvez ambos, o corredor que, de forma dominante, conquistou a vitória, e o atleta que abandonou a prova ainda nas primeiras voltas, carreguem de forma equivalente os bens internos da prática do ciclismo. Talvez o atleta derrotado - the fallen - tenha sofrido o preço de um resfriado ou uma lesão, ou um erro de estratégia, mas mesmo assim tenha, no caminho percorrido até a disputa daquele evento, feito a melhor preparação possível, estudando o posicionamento sobre a bicicleta, cuidando de sua alimentação, e apreciando cada uma das sofridas sessões de treinamento - e que assim definem seu êxito no esporte. O vencedor, porém, estará potencialmente inebriado com as láureas da fortuna, e pode deixar de reconhecer os bens internos que conquistou. Neste sentido - voltando ao meu esboço anterior - seriam aqueles que tombaram os virtuosos mais verdadeiros, pois teriam somente os bens internos consigo.
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Em tempo. Apesar das últimas semanas quebrando a cabeça atrás de uma teoria que não surge nunca, apesar do recente abandono na última prova - ainda quero outro artigo, ainda espero um pódium nesta temporada. E algumas outras coisinhas mais...

Ausnahmezustand

I've never been fully comfortable with the idea of tackling life as something absolutely normal. This is not to say I haven't achieved a certain degree of routine in my daily life - which is, to an extent, a necessary condition if one is to succeed in training or producing academic results - but as I've written before, it's the extraordinary that provides the motivation, the will to look ahead. Given the happenings of the last few months, I can either say I now face commonplace activities with excessive anticipation, or - entitling this post - I've been living in a constant state of exception (Ausnahme, exception; zustand, state).

Maybe not everyday, of course. I still find time to sit in my appartment, enjoy a hot beverage and listen to some music - but my mind is, surely enough, already rushing towards whatever the next big thing will be. This was evidently clear before coming to Europe - from the end of my Bachelor studies, the entire period of my Masters had some out-of-the-ordinary popping up every few months - travelling to Europe a couple of times, winning a race series, the conference in Canada, then driving almost one thousand k's for championships, or the queen of it all, crossing the continent by bike, to name but a few - all while conciliating, or trying to conciliate, the day-to-day activities. It's been no different here. After the initial phase of my Ph.D. studies, which was an exceptional period by itself, the last year was marked by numerous notable happenings. 2010 began on a particularly high note, with the paper rush, moving to a new apartment, a conference, my father's visit, buying the WhiskasWagen, racing the 500 Millas in Uruguay, planning an exchange semester abroad, travelling to Brazil for my father's surprise birthday party, etcetera, etcetera. And already looming on the horizon are a number of equally unusual plans...
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The derailings must be kept in check, though, as I've found myself way too distracted in the last few days. I don't expect to treat my first trip to Australia as a minor event, but at some point one must be able to unplug - which maybe means accepting special circumstances as part of the everyday Whiskas Lifestyle.
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For quite some time now, I've been envisioning a future in bucolic chalet somewhere in the countryside. A healthy dose of exercise, maybe work the land, a glass of wine and a good book's company as some Beethoven sonata plays in the background. Maybe I'm setting myself up for doom with such scenario, but at some point I do intend to try it. Maybe that will be the exception to a routine of out-of-the-ordinaries?

Across the pond

So I crossed the big water pond once again. During the check-in in Frankfurt, someone from the ground staff even noticed "Hey, you've flown with us not too long ago, right? Welcome aboard" . Thanks again, Roni & TAM. Made it to Porto Alegre in time for lunch with Mom, off to the far-away campus for Carol's Master defense, and then the usual get-together at the Mulligan Pub. It felt like I had barely left - indeed, just two months separated my last visit.

Bike assembled on Saturday (thanks, Fleck!), I raced Sunday's 128km Volta das Hortensias, as my first race of the season. 14th place, 3'02" behind the winner, was not bad at all. Showered, had a quick nap, and boarded the overnight bus to the southern border. Raced a very sucessfull 500 Millas with my former Elipse/LAST teammates, which culminated with Gean's 6th place in the overall classification. Had a great time, enjoyed seeing the team in high spirits - and, of course, the morale booster of a strong performance. Myself, had good feelings throughout most stages, was able to take strong pulls, and felt myself slowly coming into form. Weather was great, too. Couldn't have asked for anything more.

My father came over for the last two stages, which was also great as I wouldn't otherwise have had much time for the family. We drove back on sunday evening, arriving back in Porto Alegre in the early hours of Monday. Some sleep to catch up, but not much, as Monday was packed with visiting mostly everyone I'd try to squeeze in - and the already traditional farewell beer-and-pizzas at my dad's. Boarded back on Tuesday, got home late Wednesday evening.

Took the bike out for a spin already the following day - springtime was blossoming, very inviting indeed. Raced Aichach on the weekend, where teammate Benni took a fine 4th place, while I managed to finish inside the main bunch, but unable to move to the front and try any attacks.
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There and back again, in just over a week. Again - but I'll digress on Transatlanticism in a future post. Suffice to say that, a few days later, I was already back in the usual routine. I took extra care not to suffer a temperature shock and come down sick as it happened last year (it apparently worked, felt great the past two weeks). Had some issues with the jet-lag, which I didn't particularly remember from the last spring campaign, but it eventually got dealt with.
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Our paper finally got posted to the online repository, and last week was submitted to a journal. Cross your fingers with us as we await the referee's comments... Meanwhile, I'm trying to get my work focused back on the many different ideas I had before the paper rush took over. And hopefully, get these ideas to some new result...
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Anxiously awaiting this weekend's Bavarian State Cycling Championships, where I hope to significantly improve on last year's 24th place. From there, I'll be able to base my expectations for the upcoming Brazilian National Championships in June - across the pond again, in some two months from now...

Packing - or the Whiskas Lifestyle, yet again

For some particular reason, the act of packing (for some distante destination) motivates me to write. In between disassembling the bike, folding clothes and uniforms and arranging my bike-case, I browsed some of this blog's posts from almost two years ago; a wave of nostalgia soon took over.

But I write not to divagate on the past. Not, at least, such distant past. Rather, the main drive lies in the past few weeks - which have fascinatingly reminded me of all that the Whiskas Lifestyle can comprise. If the off-season was mostly quiet and appropriately deemed to rest - both physical and mental - then as soon as the preparations for 2010 started, so did everything else. The latest paper rush has kept me busy at the Institute since I got back from Brazil in mid-January. Ideas have matured, discussions were improved, and now I can really say I believe it's about as ready as it can get before it is submitted. Coupled to that, my desire to train longer, harder and *smarter* for the upcoming season led to interesting training-eating-resting-working schedules - a vicious routine I have already noted before. Nonwithstanding, I was also involved in a quest to find the WhiskasMobile, which involved checking a number of websites, calling to inquire details, and rushing to a certain dealer - most of the times, only to find the car was already gone (only in some cases were the cars turned down by me or Jan, my friendly auto mechanic advisor). The search finally came to an end last week, as a former cyclist from my team put his 2002 Golf for sale - we settled the deal and I drove the WhiskasWagen 1.0 home this weekend. In between all this, there was still a trip to Recklinghausen for the christening of my cousin's son, my father's visit to Erlangen, and another trip to Hannover, where I presented some intermediate results in the German Physical Society's anual conference.

I am now wrapping up and shall embark - tomorrow, hopefully - on to South America; Porto Alegre for the weekend, and then Artigas in North Uruguay, where, if not to repeat my prologue win of 2008, I hope at least to have a convincing performance to seal the preparations for the upcoming European season. The form is good, the morale is even better; it should be a lot of fun.

"E lá vamos nós
Seguindo a frente fria
Pampa a dentro e através..."
(Vitor Ramil, "Indo ao Pampa")

Recapitulando

Creio que a maioria deve ter visto a retrospectiva de 2009. Espero também que muitos de vocês me sigam no twitter , como forma de acompanharem de forma mais imediata alguns dos acontecimentos por aqui. Não obstante, de fato estou um pouco relapso com as atualizações do blog - e espero motivá-los a crer que isso deve ser visto como um bom sinal...

Nem todos acontecimentos entraram na seleção das 100 fotos. Alguns eventos, por exemplo, não tinham uma câmera fotográfica por perto, ou não eram exatamente fotografáveis. Outros estavam temporalmente espalhados, de forma que não podiam ser capturados como um momento, mas sim como um longo processo. Dois mil e nove foi um ano muito bom, como espero que tenha conseguido transparecer nas postagens anteriores, mas insisto: estou morando onde eu queria, estudando um tema que me interessa, com uma bolsa para tal que me sustenta de forma bem adequada, e com flexibilidade suficiente para manter o ciclismo no que, espero, ainda venha ser o melhor nível que jamais atingi. Na universidade, procrastinei um monte, mas tive alguns momentos inspirados. Um resultadinho aqui, uma visão sobre como um sistema funciona, uma percepção melhor da minha área de pesquisa, da ciência como um processo. No ciclismo, além do entrosamento com os colegas de equipe por aqui, e dos novos equipamentos, algumas boas performances, mas que ainda ficaram bem aquém daquilo que espero - o que justifiquei, em parte, como sendo parte da adaptação ao circuito europeu. Grandes expectativas para este segundo ano no doutorado, e para a temporada que se inicia em breve, mas isto é assunto para outra divagação. Bla-bla-blá, whiskas-ciclista-sachê, isto talvez tenha ficado nas entrelinhas. Sejamos mais explícitos, então, com o que não ficou:

- O curso de "Técnicas Avançadas de Tênis-de-Mesa", no semestre de verão. Voltar a empunhar uma raquete, e ainda por cima contar com valiosíssimas dicas e correções técnicas do treinador Freddy Hüber, foi uma grande experiência. No semestre seguinte, que acaba de se encerrar, participei dos treinos livres, como forma de manter uma certa atividade física regular além dos treinos do ciclismo - o que se mostrou uma bem-aventurada alternativa. Devo "descansar" neste semestre de verão, mas já antecipo tornar a jogar no próximo outono...

- A não-ida para o campeonato Brasileiro, que talvez tenha mencionado em alguma postagem de meados de junho ou julho. Foi uma decisão bastante significativa, tendo em vista que havia organizado boa parte da temporada com este objetivo. Motivou também uma reflexão sobre quais são meus objeivos ciclísticos a longo prazo; de uma forma ou de outra, ainda aproveitei muito as demais corridas e, principalmente, os diversos treinos ao final das agradáveis tardes de verão, pedalando pelas montanhas da Suíça Francônica...

- Minha carteira de motorista européia. A carteira brasileira era válida aqui somente nos primeiros seis meses após fixar residência; após este prazo - que para mim se completou no início de maio - eu deveria validá-la perante às autoridades locais. Conforme o país de procedência, essa validação requer apenas uma tradução juramentada, ou somente o exame teórico, ou - caso tupiniquim - o exame teórico e prático. Estudei toda a apostila e gabaritei o exame teórico, fiz algumas aulas para aprender os "macetes" da prova aqui - além, é claro, de algumas peculiaridades de um trânsito ordens de magnitude mais civilizado do que estava acostumado. De habilitação na mão, estou agora à busca do Whiskasmóvel #1...

- No apagar das luzes de 2009, um grupo brasileiro publicou um artigo que, à primeira leitura, parecia conter resultados muito parecido com os que eu e a Nadja havíamos obtido nos últimos meses. Tal publicação apareceu numa sexta-feira, após a festa de fim-de-ano do grupo, e poucos dias antes de todos nós debandarmos para casa para as festas de Natal. Como reação imediata, em um final-de-semana escrevi um artigo para enviarmos como resposta e assim "demarcar nosso território" - o que acabou não acontecendo, pois ao apresentá-lo na segunda-feira, meu orientador concluiu que poderíamos explorar nossas contas de outra forma, e assim ter uma certa independência dos resultados já publicados. Neste meio tempo, já se passaram mais de dois meses, o artigo já cresceu algumas páginas, com muitas edições e revisões. O processo parece às vezes um tanto frustrante, mas é uma forma única (se não a única forma) de realmente conhecer nosso trabalho...

- Por fim, em meio à correria do artigo, recebi naquela última semana em Erlangen a notícia de que havia "vencido" a disputa por um simpático apartamento na Ulmenweg 17. Aceitei de imediato, marcando a data da "posse" para 1o de Fevereiro, quando já estaria de volta do recesso de Natal e Ano Novo no Brasil. Estou prestes a completar 45 dias na nova casa, que aos poucos vai tomando a cara do seu novo dono. Fotos entrarão em breve em alguma galeria...
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Este post vai ao ar com algumas semanas de atraso, mas espero nas próximas semanas emendar com mais uma divagação sobre este inverno que se encerra (ou não, dada a quantidade de neve lá fora...), a tão esperada chegada da primavera, e com sorte relatar também sobre o novíssimo Whiskasmóvel, a publicação do nosso artigo, etcetera, etcetera. Até lá!

The first year of the rest of my life

I've been slow on the updates here. I'm wandering too much on philosophical blah-blah-blah's which never got posted, and in between edits, I forgot to update with the latest happenings. Minus the coffee machine story, the last informational post dates from the end of August, so it's best to rewind just a bit and take it from there.
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Taking part in the Mecklemburg Rundfahrt was as much fun as I hadn't had in a long time racing in Germany; not that the races aren't great, but it's usually a one-day business. Racing over the course of 4 or 5 days really puts a whole different emphasis on the team. Sharing a bungalow with Björn, Ivo, Jan, Jens, Michael, and of course the Puschmann's Mom, despite the adversities, was a lot of fun.

Three days after returning from the race (with a blitz visit to Ulm in between), I got a ride from Raffaele to the train station for the traditional Erlangen-Porto Alegre rail-air-bridge. Spent the weekend down South before heading to Paraty for a week-long workshop in Quantum Information and Communication, where I presented a poster summarizing mostly everything I had been working with for the past half-year or so. Back in Porto Alegre, between spetacular bike rides, beer nights, and even some quite productive scientific discussions back at my alma matter, I had a great time with family, friends and some I hadn't seen in quite some time.

I came back to Erlangen still in time to catch the last summer days, and contrary to what I had initially planned, decided on racing one more weekend, travelling to Rheinland with Jens for two nice races. The cycling season then being oficially over, I finally managed to study a bit for the theoretical driving school test, which I had to take as part of the process to have my brazilian license validated (with that now behind me, the only remaining requirement is the practical exam, scheduled for the 19th of this month). I also signed myself to another table-tennis course (having already taken the 'advanced techniques' course last semester), and another round of 'Upper Level' German class. And, of course, ever since I have been investing a (greater) number of hours on the different research fronts I'm currently investigating - it's amazing just how much time one gains, when all of a sudden the 2 or 3 hours commited to an activity everyday are made available...
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It's already two weeks since I marked, mostly silently, the passing of one year in Germany as a PhD student. A sometimes oscillating ride, the lows keeping me in perspective, but the highs more than making up for that - most exciting times, indeed. Cheers to the coming year!

Meanwhile, at the coffee machine...

Filling out the paperwork, I asked for two weeks leave-of-absence: the week the workshop in Paraty would be held (Sept. 7-11) and vacations at home (Sept. 14-18). I ended flying back on Tuesday (22), so that I could better enjoy the last weekend and took Monday for packing. This way, I only came to the University yesterday (Thursday, Sept. 24), having arrived in Erlangen on Wednesday evening...

As you know, I'm responsible for our department's coffee machine. Before leaving, I bought two extra packs of beans which, together with the then-open one, should, according to the average consumption rate of the past months, last for at least three weeks. Long story short, the weather took a turn for worse, it got colder, everyone worked longer hours - therefore drinking more - and the coffee ran out on Friday (18th). They took a look at the official calendar, where my holidays were marked until that very day, and concluded I would be back on Monday with more of the precious brown beans.

I wasn't back on Monday, and nobody bought more coffee. I wasn't back on Tuesday either, so no java there. On Wednesday I set feet in Erlangen, but being almost 20 PM, I went straight home. Finally, on Thursday I came to the university, and almost immediately half a dozen users came directly to me. "Hi! Glad you're back! How were your vacations? By the way, we ran out of coffee!" was a standard greeting I heard. Easy: I ran to the nearby supermarket, and before lunch everyone was happy again.

Then came the secretary. Checking my trip's paperwork, she complained there were more working days spent on vacations than on work-related activities, and therefore the Institute would not reimburse me the airfare. I talked to Peter, my advisor, who stood by me, saying that, while at home, I had worked on research-related topics and visited my former research group, and as such my extra days in Porto Alegre should be accounted as work-related, and thus be travel costs fully reimbursed. OK, case settled?

We leave the secretary's office, and he calls on me:
"Ricardo, it's all right to include personal vacations on work travel. I don't even have an issue with your unannounced extension for a few extra days. But then... to deny your fellow co-workers of their daily cup of coffee... if this happens again, you'll see what trouble is!" (or, in German, "wenn das nochmal passiert, dann kriegst du Ärger!").

Oh life...

Greetings from Erlangen!